by Melissa Greene

It had been a while since I had experienced a thin place, a moment where heaven and earth seemed connected and there was no doubt but to believe.

I was asked last summer to get involved with the ministry of Timothy’s Gift (www.timothysgift.com).  TG is a ministry to inmates offering relief, hope and redemption through friendship, entertainment, and seminars.  I was originally asked to help put together a “U.S.O. style” Christmas program -for a 12 day tour.   T.G. wanted to take talented artists in to lift the spirits of the prisons during the most depressing time of the year for inmates, Christmas.  The task seemed difficult. You could not sing anything too nostalgic, nothing that reminded them too specifically of going home or loved ones, it needed to bring laughter and funny songs, songs that they would be familiar with and then also remind them or tell them the story of Jesus, the story of LOVE.  After recruiting the talent from GracePointe Church (which is FULL of talent I might add) I began the specifics of the program.  By the Fall, I had resigned myself to the fact that I needed to go on this tour as well.  We turned in our information to Ron Miller (founder and organizer of TG), which then of course had to be background checked and screened.  Finally we were all approved and set to leave.  12 days, 19 prisons, 9 people (3 of us rotating in and out).

The day before we left Haven was diagnosed with the flu.  She was horribly sick and I fought myself all day about leaving her for 5 days while I went on my part of the tour.  After many conversations with Ben, my mom and Ron, I decided I needed to go.  We left the next day.  During the 7 hour drive to FL, I second guessed myself for most of the trip.  Should I have left my family???  After frequent calls to Ben and my mom, Haven seemed to be recovering slowly but doing well.  Finally on WED morning we went to the first prison.

I will give you the average scenario of the prison.  We pull up to chain link fences and gates with 3 rows of barbed wire lined top and bottom.  To say these were highly secure prisons, is an understatement.  We would punch in our codes and scan our fingers and then wait for the guards approval to enter which could take anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour.  We’d enter after they had thoroughly checked each one of us individually and all of our equipment.   We were given body alarms to attach to our belts, just in case of emergencies.  Once inside, we’d head straight to the chapel and were usually greeted and offered help by a select few of approved inmates.  We’d set up in about 30 minutes.  Finally the 150 or so inmates would enter.   Some of them were rugged looking, some weary, some young, some old with need of canes, some clean cut, some laughing… but all dressed in blue.

We would begin with a welcome and a familiar song.  Most of them, because they had volunteered to be there, were enthusiastic to sing along, to clap, to laugh. Others had to be won over but it seemed after 30 minutes or so,every time, it worked.  The first half of the set was light, playful and even funny.  The laughter that filled the room was infectious and healing.  They seemed to know that we were there for THEM.  There was an attitude of level ground instead of the usual looking down on to them that they are so often used to.  Then we introduced our resident Artist, who shared her story of doubt and questioning God and finally the reassurance she found that God will cover her – all of her, including her questions, anger, and doubt.  She told them that she would paint an angel that God had placed in her heart and that she would leave the painting with them to remind them that they too are covered.  We then moved into sacred Christmas songs.

Finally,  I sang the song “love me” (by JJ Heller) over them and it was in this moment that I knew I had made the right decision in coming on the tour.  If you don’t know the song, you can listen to it fully here http://youtu.be/PgGUKWiw7Wk.  The lyrics describe a young boy  alone and also a woman who’s husband has left her, both desperately searching for someone to love them for them…

I tried my hardest to find each and every one of their eyes as I sang the last verse…

He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone.  He’s a man in a cell, who regrets what he’s done.

He utters a cry from the depth of his soul, “Oh Lord, Forgive me.  I want to go home.”

Then he heard a voice, somewhere deep inside and it said, ” I know you’ve murdered and I know you’ve lied.

I have watched you suffer for all of your life.  Now that you’ll listen, I’ll tell you that I

Oh I love you for you. Not for what you have done or what you will become.  Oh I love you for you.  I will show you the love, the love that you never knew.”

I quickly tried to tell them that this is exactly why we’ve come but I was cut off completely by a standing ovation of applause accompanied with weighted tears.  They probably had not heard these words since their mistake or if they had, from very few.  But this is why we came.  We came to tell them and remind them that they are loved.  I told them of the idea of the Kingdom of God being like a table and that they are still welcome and have a place waiting at that table.  That they are not their mistake and that they have a future they can step into.  A better future.  We had prepared 2 stations to administer communion.  I would invite them to come, because Jesus invited them to come.  I asked (as I have learned from my friend, Ian Cron) them to hold out their cupped hands in order to receive the bread we will break. I wanted them to receive instead of take and to be reminded that life, all of life and their life is a gift.  Then they would dip that bread into the wine.

They started to come quickly, needy for love, for a gift, some more broken than others, but every last one of them comes on their own and receives.  It’s the first time, maybe in all of ministry, that I recognize the truly sacred gift it is to share the good news that YOU ARE LOVED to someone who so desperately needs it.  It was holy moments, with tears shed, wine spilling, bread broken, life shared.

I remember one man specifically.  He was very tall and muscular and reminded me of Michael Clarke Duncan’s character in the movie The Green Mile.  This man walked into the chapel looking very hard and intimidating.  Eventually he cracked a smile and I knew we had him captive when he threw his head back in laughter at one of the songs and then proceeded to clap along.  He came to my line of communion.  He towered over me and cupped his very large, strong hands… hands that may have raped, or murdered, or stolen… he looked into my eyes as I looked up into his tear stained face, “His body broken for you” I said.  I used one hand to place the piece of bread into his hands and cupped the underneath of his hands with my other.   As I looked into his eyes I BEHELD innocence trapped deep inside.  It was in that moment that I looked and beheld not a 40 year old criminal, but a child.  I feel I saw a glimpse of how God sees us, beautiful and broken but with the hope and promise of redemption through LOVE.  I will never be the same and I hope I can say the same for that man.

So, now I believe more than ever before.  I believe that we are all made in the image of God.  That we are all the beloved.  That we are all broken to varying degrees. I believe that we all have hope.  I believe that the CREATOR is LOVE and that LOVE will never fail.  I believe that I am to tell all with my life, my work and my words that poignant truth.  You are loved.  You are of great worth.  You have a place at the table.

My life is changed.  My ministry renewed. My focus is steadfast.  I believe again.

Here’s to an impactful 2013…  peace to you, Melissa

You can read other posts from Melissa’s blog at; http://melissagreenemusic.com/category/blog/

However, after 2 years of prison ministry, I have to admit that violence is rarely ever talked about by anyone let alone experienced.  That is until my August 2012 Timothy’s Gift Tour took place.  It was different.  I call it the “Tour of Extremes.”

The 11 day tour started in Doral, FL, which is near Ft. Lauderdale.  Like most prisons, Doral Correctional Institution has two units–Main and South–roughly 1/4 mile apart.  I taught at both over a two day period.

Upon arrival in the Main unit Chapel after clearing security on the first day, I began to set up my equipment.  The Chaplain was friendly but somewhat distant or lost in thought. Shortly it came out that the last couple of days had been tough. There had been several deaths. One man had been attacked by an inmate.  The other man was attacked by his own heart…a heart attack.

Two different inmates, inmates who attended the seminar, had been attacked in the prison compound within the last week for no reason other than being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  One had a broken jaw from a sucker punch and the other was literally speechless due to trauma after being attacked by a group of other inmates. Again, both were injured for no reason.

After the first two-hour session, the Chaplain and I left the prison for lunch. During lunch, this topic of prison violence came up. It was youthful offenders, gang members who had perpetrated the violence on the two inmates in the chapel. He further said that the youth entering the prison system are the most violent inmates anyone has ever seen.  “You can easily call them ‘Mean and Extreme’,” he said.  We both played quietly with our food as we became lost in our thoughts.

The rest of the first day went well but I was still musing over the youthful offenders’ culture of extreme violence as I entered the South unit the next morning.  When the seminar began, I noticed that all the inmates were older gentleman.  Usually, I’m the oldest guy in the seminar–today, I was the youngest.

Teasingly I said, “So, only the OLD guys came out today.”  One elderly gentleman on the front row said, “We’re all old here.  This camp is the old folks camp.”  I was somewhat stunned.  I had never conceived of such a thing as a prison for old folks.  As my mind stirred, someone else pointed to another inmate on the front row and said, “He’s 90!”  The nonagenarian gave a huge proud smile.  As a matter of fact, almost everyone was wearing a big smile–big, happy, peaceful smiles. What a contrast from the youth in the Main unit less than a 1/4 mile away.

I’ve already heard stories from some of the older inmates who have found peace with God and man, stories of God’s grace, love, and hope. However, I haven’t encountered very many of the youth…yet.  The youth generally don’t attend Chapel like the older guys do.  Maybe the youth are acting out their video games.  Maybe they don’t come to chapel because the 10 Commandments were taken down from the walls of their schools.  Or, maybe our culture is disintegrating around us faster than we realize.

So what do we do?  I don’t know other than we are still called to…”rescue the dying and care for the perishing.”  As I said, this tour was a tour of extremes.  Thank you for helping us do what we do as we carry God’s peace to those surrounded by violence.  Peace!

At the end of April, we finished our April tour to Florida prisons.  Although we didn’t view it as a milestone, it was one of sorts.  During each tour, we are able to touch men and women’s lives in ways that wouldn’t have been touched in any other way.

Brian D. McLaren – A Generous Orthodoxy

Most prison chapels have center aisles. This one did. Sometimes the inmates sit around the sides and back. This time they packed the front first, which was encouraging.  Last to come in was an elderly man bent over in a wheel chair.  He positioned himself in the large center aisle right in front of me. The wheelchair didn’t bother me but the permanently etched scowl on his face did.  He was just plain mean looking.  “It seems that some people have to share their misery,” I thought to myself as I surveyed the rest of the audience.

This workshop involved a lot of moving around, standing from time to time and waving our hands forming different hand-signs to identify different events in the Old Testament.  It’s a fun workshop.  For the next two hours, until lunch, we all flailed about.  Mr. Wheelchair didn’t participate – other than glare and scowl. I did my best to ignore him.

When the inmates filed back into the chapel after lunch, I was a bit surprised to see the elderly Mr. Wheelchair take up his position right up front. He evidently didn’t like his lunch because if anything, his squinty-eyed scowl was a little more intense.

I decided to start off the afternoon session by singing a few songs.  My hopes were that by having the inmates stand and sing, I’d counter any post-lunch lethargy. The first song was a praise and worship song, “Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord.”  They sang it as if they had written it.  They were a good bunch of guys except for…you guessed it.

The next song was “I’ll Fly Away.”  We always have fun with this old but not worn out classic.  I usually sing the first part and have the inmates chime in on the “…I’ll fly away” part. When the chorus came around the first time, Mr. Wheelchair began to sing with the rest of us.  “I’ll fly away O glory, I’ll fly away….”  He wasn’t smiling but he wasn’t scowling either.

The room was full of joy as the second chorus approached. I was too, but I wasn’t prepared for what happened next.  Mr. Wheelchair, full of energy now, reached down with both hands and pulled his right foot up, folded the foot-rest out of the way, then placed the foot on the floor. He repeated the process with his left foot. Still somewhat bent over, he lifted his slumped head and looked straight at me.  Then simultaneously as a smile broke on his weathered face, he began to struggle to stand.

The scene could have been out of a movie.  You know the one–the evangelist tells a wheelchair bound man to rise and walk.  He struggles as the people watch, pray, and hope.  But this wasn’t a movie…this was reality.  The music had simply gotten a hold of him and he wanted to stand.  Perhaps the song had transported him to another time, maybe a time before prison when he had sung the song full of life on two strong legs.

As he slowly struggled to stand, two inmates, one from each side of the aisle, appeared at his side.  One under each arm, they held the aged inmate up and walked him forward kicking the wheelchair back out of the way.  Time had stood still for me as I watched this scene unfold in front of me.  Everyone was singing.  I had stepped into the finale of an imaginary movie.

The elderly man was supported on one side by a young, smiling, singing, black inmate and on the other by a young, smiling, singing, white inmate.  The three of them swayed and sang to the music. This must have been a movie about all God’s children coming together.  It felt like the finale.  I fully expected credits to start rolling in thin air.  It was magical.  No…it was Sacred.  It was Holy.

Several more verses and the song ended.  The two inmates gently helped the elderly inmate back into his wheel chair.  Each lifted a foot, folded the footrest down and gently aligned ‘their’ respective foot on the rest, straightening the pant leg before patting the man on the back and returning to their seats.  Most importantly, the scene had the air of a spontaneous act of kindness rather than routine.

I knew I had witnessed a wonderful moment which expressed God’s love in a visible and memorable way. I stood silent for a beat or two longer than usual.  I wanted to absorb the moment.

The second half of the seminar had a new participant.  He didn’t stand with the rest of us, but he did all the motions and hand-signs…with a smile. I don’t know what happened to this elderly wheelchair bound curmudgeon of a man.  Was it the song itself or was it the spontaneous act of two other inmates that infused him with such vibrant life?  The picture in my mind of the three of them swaying and singing “I’ll Fly Away” is such a wonderful picture of God’s love in action that I never want to forget it.  I don’t want it to fade.  I want to replay it over and over.  For two brief choruses of an old song, three men momentarily sang their way to freedom.  It was just like the … eternal dance of Father, Son, and Spirit sharing mutual love, honor, happiness, joy, and respect.

Meanwhile, we wanted to let you know that, with your help, we were able to minister to approximately 2700 inmates last year.  This year, if all goes as planned, we’ll more than double that number!  Additionally, we want to add more presenters to our roster, increase the number of programs that we offer AND include a major Christmas tour in early December!  Obviously, funding must be in place as we go forward with what we consider to be very aggressive plans!

During this February tour we anticipate “visiting” and taking HOPE to at least 650 inmates which, translates to a cost of almost $13,000 (just under $20/person).  We would love to/need to begin this tour with our expenses covered which means we need to generate at least $4,500 more between now and the time the “bills are due”!

Whether you can give $25 or $2500, we’d appreciate your prayerful consideration!  You can mail your donation to the address below or you can simply go to our website and contribute there:   http://timothysgift.com/support-timothys-gift/

Thanking you again for your past, present and future support.  You are needed and appreciated.  We are humbled and grateful!

Blessings,

John, Ron & Timothy’s Gift Volunteers

PS  For daily updates on the tour, follow us on Twitter; @timothysgift.

John Starnes has arrived central Florida and is preparing to visit Florida Civil Commitment Center tonight, where he will present the first half of Walk Thru the Bible/Old Testament! (Due to other responsibilities, I was unable to accompany him). The second half of the program will be offered tomorrow evening.  FCCC is the only civil commitment institution in the entire state, housing and treating sexually violent predators in a highly secure facility.

The final program will be given at Jefferson Correctional Institution on October 19th where John’s been invited to greet the inmates at “center gate” as they file from lunch to the chapel before he closes the tour there with another presentation of WTB/Old Testament.

As we mentioned in previous updates, the positive response to Timothy’s Gift is continuing to grow.  We’ve had to turn down several requests from Chaplains on this trip and have already received overwhelming response to our suggestion of conducting a Christmas Tour in mid-December.  In fact, I just received an email from one of the chaplains which prompted me sending you this update. When he announced that Timothy’s Gift would be at his chapel on October 17 to present “Solving the People Puzzle” (which helps inmates get along with each other as well as how to better re-enter society upon release),he said, “…the inmates jumped on it like a duck on a June Bug!”  He goes on to say, “I appreciate what you both are doing to care for our men.”

From all appearances, we will have the opportunity to visit with over 500 inmates on this trip…significantly more than the usual 400 we plan for.  Along with an increase in the number of inmates we visit, goes an increase in our expenses.  As you think about your charitable giving for the month, please consider Timothy’s Gift!  Be assured, your donations will be put to good use and extreme frugality will be exercised (e.g. John will be sleeping in a tent at several campground for seven nights for a fraction of the cost of hotel lodging!).  As always, donations can be sent to the address below or you can visit our website and donate via PayPal - www.timothysgift.com.

Thank you for your continued encouragement and support!

Ron

All three events went very well. I leave each one amazed at the tangible love of God, which I step into as I would step into the body of a saint. You see, my limitations are all too obvious. I know my slight (and not so slight) prejudices. I know my propensity for having a critical spirit. I know my tendency towards impatience. Yet all these drop off somewhere in the parking lot as I make my way from the car to the front gate only to be replaced by their Godly counterparts. I’m as a man possessed–overtaken by God’s Love and Grace.

Inside the correctional facility, my inmate friends hear me passionately implore them to understand how much God loves them and how He sees them. He sees them in spotless garments of white rather than garments of Department of Correction (DOC) blue. As I await the arrival of my first Grand-child, I remind them that he will not have any memory of the womb. Neither will they have any memory of these cinder block walls and razor wire fences.

At the end of each day, I take an inmate story or memory home with me. In Ocala, at the women’s facility, it was the story of a young lady from another country, awaiting extradition to her homeland. She couldn’t wait to go to a family, who was not religious and tell them of her life-changing experience with the person of Christ whom she had met in prison.

In Sneads, I took home the memory of one young black man whom I could have envisioned in a business suit, stepping out of a limo or a jet, on his way to a business or political meeting. The subtlety of his powerful presence begged me to ask him what he was doing there. His eye’s told me I didn’t need to ask. He was at peace with this world. There were no excuses and no apologies, only joyful hope.

Lastly, in Blountstown, there was the man who lingered behind the others until he was to be the last one out the door. He came over to me and leaned close then confided that he was 58 years old and had previously been a pastor for 30 of those years. Then straightening up, he said he was grateful—in spite of having done wrong and been imprisoned—to have come to possess an intimate knowledge of the God he had preached about for so long. “Life’s funny,” he said as he turned and walked out the door. “Yea…it sure is,” I whispered to an empty chapel.

We are in the beginning stages of planning a 10-day Timothy’s Gift Tour for October all the while we wait for the official approval of our 501c3 status. Until we receive our status and hoped for funds that follow, we are only able to afford to go out every other month. Those of you who have given generously, regardless of the amount, are enabling us to see and hear wonderful stories about lives being renewed, faith being strengthened, and hope being restored. Thank you so much for your prayers and support.

Blessings,
John Starnes

I started off last Thursday and Friday in Gulf Correctional Institution (C.I.). On Thursday I gave a New Testament seminar in the Main unit then taught it again in the Annex on Friday. After traveling 6 hours that afternoon to stay at a friend’s house, I spent Saturday resting up and studying my New Testament notes. 

These first two seminars were the first that I have taught after receiving my certification a week and a half earlier. I’m still wet behind the ears but gaining confidence. All the Guys at both units were very supportive, patient, and helpful after I confessed my lack of experience with the program. They were the teachers–I was the student. 

On Sunday morning, I made a return visit to a facility south of Sarasota where all those incarcerated are considered, “Violent Sex Offenders.” I don’t think in my wildest dreams I would have ever imagined myself conducting a church service behind bars, locked in with fifty or more sex offenders. Interestingly, the mood and spirit of the morning was as rich and refreshing as any church service I’ve ever attended. I did my best to let them know that they are the beloved of God. These men are there because they have been convicted of heinous crimes yet they are human beings none-the-less deserving of love and compassion. I sensed that God assured them of both.

Before the service began, I met with the Chaplain.  I asked him if these men had many visitors supposing that they might not. “Look around you,” the Chaplain said, “this is the visitors area.  In any other Institution, this place would be packed on a Sunday morning.” We were the only ones there.  The stillness of the moment, as I surveyed the empty tables, chairs, and overstocked vending machines, created an image in my soul that I will never forget. 

That afternoon, I drove four hours to Homestead, FL, checked into a hotel, and reflected on the mornings events. We may forget the least of the least, as those prisoners are often called, but God NEVER does and NEVER will.

On Monday morning, I entered a facility a few miles from my motel and taught my third Walk Thru the Bible New Testament Seminar.  I had a great time with men that I have been with before. We laughed a lot and hopefully learned a lot too.  

The highlight of the day was the sight of a blind inmate who came to participate in the seminar. Now, you have to understand that the seminar is taught with extensive use of hand signs to facilitate the memorization of the 77 signs describing the historic time-line of the New Testament. This blind man brought a friend with him who held his wrists and mimicked the hand signs as I was teaching them. In the beginning is was very touching to witness this take place. However, toward the end of the day, as we approached the close of the seminar, the reviews became comical. The blind inmate and his friend obviously shared a similar sense of humor.  

As we would review the signs, they would be doubled over in laughter. The helper had his back to me, which made it difficult for him to learn the signs he was supposed to be teaching to his friend (I don’t know why the totally blind man felt he needed to face me).  During each review, a tug-of-war would ensue pitting the blind man as he tried to correct his helper friend who obviously didn’t know the hand signs as well as he did.  They would double over in laughter at their mutual frustration. I couldn’t help but laugh with them. Here was not only an inmate but a blind man who could heartily laugh at himself and life.  What a wonderful memory he provided. 

Tomorrow I head to a women’s facility, armed with a revised PowerPoint presentation and a renewed spirit after having witnessed and experienced God’s love afresh and anew. 

Blessings,
John Starnes

Hard to believe but our very first prison visit happened almost one year ago today! Recently we received a letter from an inmate in southern Florida who had this to say, “I think of Timothy’s Gift often. Thanks for coming to Martin CI. I can’t wait to show you all the Walk Thru the Bible hand signs you taught us! I think I can do them all backwards! Just two weeks ago one of my bunkmates here in confinement was asking me questions about Genesis. I felt so good and confident as I explained the story to him. Thank you for carrying your cross!”

Our current plans have us leaving Nashville for Florida on Wednesday, August 3. During the following ten days we are scheduled to take a variety of programs into eight institutions, giving us the opportunity to visit with over 400 inmates. Posters are going up and inmates are becoming excited. To cover all travel & administrative cost and materials (each inmate receives a beautiful workbook which we are required to purchase from Walk Thru the Bible), takes $18.74 per inmate. As you can see, the cost is substantial.

In addition to it being our First Anniversary, we are also reminded as we prepare for our August 3rd departure that the economy has impacted nearly everyone. Although it has been a difficult decision, we have decided that we must raise $3000 of the total required ($7496) prior to our departure or we’ll need to cancel our August tour. Would you give special consideration this month to contributing to Timothy’s Gift for this cause? If so, please let us know your intent via return email or going directly to the website www.timothysgift.com where you can donate online. On Monday, August 1, John and I will convene again, make our final decision, and let you know what we hope will be the positive results!!!

As always, thanks to all of you for your prayers, support and encouragement.

Blessings,
John Starnes & Ron Miller